Speak Like a Gentleman: 10 Dos and Don'ts

There isn't a suit or a luxury cologne in the world that can compensate for good conversational skills. One's speech must also be groomed if one is to be truly identified as a gentleman. 

This article provides 10 dos and don'ts on how to communicate with style and class. Keep reading to find out more. 

1. Manners

Many of us are taught to say "please", "thank you" and "sorry" from a very young age. For some reason, though, these terms often are left behind along with potty training and comfort blankets.

Manners are not to be outgrown, they are, in fact, a sign of true maturity. A gentleman uses them at every opportunity. 

2. Tone and Volume

It's not just what you say but how you say it. Tone and volume are something we don't pay attention to when we, ourselves, speak. But it can make and break our communication style.

A gentleman is gentle yet confident in his tone. He doesn't overpower conversations he empowers them!

3. Improve Vocabulary and Grammar

A gentleman doesn't do this to sound pretentious but to ensure he is clearly understood. Making reading part of his lifestyle helps him to widen his vocabulary and grammar.

He's not quick to use extravagant words as he learns them or corrects others when they misuse a term. A gentleman never puts his interlocutor down. 

4. Don't Swear Excessively (Or at All) 

As an extension of the previous point, a gentleman seeks to have a wide enough vocabulary to not have to replace terms with profanity.

Excessive swearing is a sign of poor education and mental health. A gentleman endeavours to communicate eloquently even when frustrated. 

5. Don't Interrupt

A gentleman seeks to master the art of listening. He understands that communication is not just about what he has to say. He is skilled at valuing his listener's words. He always lets them finish before responding realising that he is not the centre of the universe. 

6. Stay on Topic

In the same vein, knowing how to be a gentleman means knowing how to feed a healthy conversation. He doesn't change topics and subjects while his interlocutor is clearly enjoying, or valuing, the topic they are on.

He sees topics similar to three-act plays that should be experienced from beginning to end before moving on to the next one. 

7. Improve Body Language

Non-verbal communication is the orchestra that accompanies every conversation. Ignoring one's nonverbal behaviour is communication suicide. Eye contact, facial expressions, gestures and the like can greatly improve a gentleman's quality of conversation.

He puts his phone away, ignores the bird near the window and immerses his whole being in his interlocutor's words.

8. Avoid Sarcasm and Bigotry

There is a very thin line between wit and sarcasm. If a gentleman is not sure where that line is, he avoids it like the plague. If your sense of humour often offends people and you refuse to change, being a gentleman is not for you. 

9. Know Your Audience

A skilled communicator knows how to adapt to different crowds. He does force philosophy and classical music down the throats of those who have no interest in such subjects.

He, once again, listens and asks questions about his interlocutor and adapts his language, topics, and sense of humour accordingly. 

10. Practice Authenticity

Above all, a gentleman is able to take on all of these etiquette principles and still remain true to himself. He is not simply playing a part at a cocktail party. He values all of the gentlemanly principles discussed and desires to make them part of who he is, not just a mask he wheres when it suits him. 

How to Be a Gentleman Inside and Out

Being a gentleman is more than a fashion statement. What's the point of grooming one's beard when one's "tongue" is cramping one's style? A true gentleman spends more time reflecting than looking in the mirror.

If you want to learn more about how he achieves this, read the following article to ensure that the man you are inside complements the one outside.